Christian Dating

In the article “Dating In The Church: The Pros & Cons,” the author highlights the unique challenges of dating within a faith-based community. As a Christian woman, I found myself nodding along to many of these points, as they mirror my own experiences of trying to navigate the complexities of dating while adhering to biblical principles.

While everyone has their own success stories about relationships, it’s essential to recognize that no two journeys are the same. Dating is deeply personal, and what works for one couple may not necessarily work for another. The article raised several important issues that I’d like to explore further, particularly the need for dating to be a personal choice—guided by prayer, communication, and mutual respect—rather than subject to external judgment.

Navigating Ambiguity in Biblical Guidance

As Christians, we often turn to the Bible for guidance on dating and marriage, yet dating isn’t explicitly defined in Scripture. This lack of clarity can leave many of us feeling uncertain. The Bible offers a few examples of courtship, but they don’t provide a modern-day roadmap.

Take David’s complicated relationship with Bathsheba or Esther’s preparation to marry a king she didn’t know—these stories highlight cultural practices far removed from our own. Even the well-loved tale of Ruth and Boaz, often seen as a model of courtship, leaves much to interpretation. This ambiguity often leads to varying opinions and teachings on dating, which can add to the confusion rather than provide clarity.

Faith-Shaming and Judgment in the Church

One of the challenges highlighted in the article is “faith-shaming,” where church members judge whether a person or their actions are “holy enough” by congregational standards. This point resonated deeply with me because it’s a struggle I’ve faced personally.

As a woman in my 40s, I’m committed to honoring my faith in my dating life, including practicing celibacy. However, this journey hasn’t been easy, and I’ve often wrestled with questions like, “What if we slip up? Will this ruin our relationship?”

The story of David and Bathsheba offers a reminder of God’s grace. Despite their initial sins, God’s redemption was evident in their union, as they went on to raise King Solomon. While not a perfect model for dating, it serves as a testament to God’s ability to restore and redeem, even when mistakes are made.

Protecting Your Relationship from Outside Opinions

Another important point raised is the overwhelming number of opinions that surface when people hear you’re dating someone. While some feedback can be encouraging, criticism often comes from those closest to us.

I’ve learned not to take this personally—Christians can be critical of their own relationships, too. However, constantly discussing your relationship with others can invite unnecessary noise. To build a strong foundation, it’s important to prioritize open communication with your partner and protect your relationship from external interference.

Preserving the “Magic” in Relationships

A question I often ask myself is, “How do I hold on to what felt magical in the beginning of the relationship?” The answer, I’ve found, lies in communication and understanding.

Misunderstandings and insecurities can easily create distance, but addressing concerns openly prevents unnecessary narratives from taking root in your mind. Trust and intentional effort go a long way in strengthening the bond between partners.

The Isolation of Christian Singles

The article also touched on an issue that hits close to home—the lack of support for Christian singles in the church. Dating as a Christian can feel taboo, as if we’re expected to magically arrive at church one day already married.

While the Bible emphasizes marriage, it doesn’t offer much guidance on the modern process of dating and courtship. This gap can leave singles feeling isolated, navigating a journey that’s both personal and culturally complex.

Final Thoughts

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that there’s no universal formula for dating as a Christian. Just as we each work out our own salvation, we must figure out how to love and build relationships in a way that honors both God and ourselves.

Don’t let outside influences dictate how your relationship should look. Every relationship is unique and requires its own approach to success. Remember: dating is a personal journey, guided by prayer, communication, and grace.

Join the conversation—how have you navigated dating in the church? Share your thoughts in the comments!